Friday, September 17, 2021

The Poor Baby


Instead of answering a question, I am sharing a three-part conversation I had with a female experiencer who first died as an infant, then later again at the age of five when she was almost electrocuted.  It’s a fascinating and intriguing story I think you may want to hear.


It’s always been a touchy subject in my family due to the way it occurred.  I was unable to tell anyone for years because it happened before I could even speak.  Let me attempt to hit the highlights.  I had colic and somehow the directions for giving me medication to ease the coli were not accurate.  Pharmacy error, doctor error, parent error dosing.  I’m unsure of which, but when my mother gave me the medicine, it did no good at all, being less than it was supposed to be.  I kept crying and fussing, more and more….louder and louder… the point my mother started to violently shake me (out of her own frustration) in attempts to get me to just stop crying.  This was 1973, before ‘Shaken Baby Syndrome was even common terminology.  Long story short, she shook me to the point I stopped crying, but I also stopped breathing.  My lips turned blue, I turned blue.  I remember her screaming for my brother, who was nine at the time to run next door and have the neighbors call an ambulance, that I had stopped breathing.  Even at that point, I no longer had the awareness of a one year old.  From that point on, I had the awareness of maybe a five-year-old.

The next thing I remember is being in the top right corner of an ambulance, looking down at the paramedics, including the driver, working frantically to revive, in my mind what I clearly thought as a QUOTE , “the poor baby.”  INSTANTLY, from behind me I heard (without ears, straight into my head as if words were being spoken through lips, but they were not), I heard these words very clearly and exactly this, “the poor baby is you, don’t be afraid. . . everything is going to be alright.  You’re going to have a long life.”  This was said to me by three to four beings, of some kind of light, who were up in the top right corner of the ambulance with me, holding me, from behind.  I’ve always felt like they were angels, but I don’t know that for certain, and I’ve never been sure there were three or four since they were behind me.

While I was up there inside the ambulance, somehow I was able to see outside the ambulance as my father came flying home from work when he was told I was not breathing.  He was so upset.  He’d forgotten to put the car in park as he jumped out of it, and it ran off the road as he banged on the ambulance doors.  After the beings told me everything would be okay, I was back in my body.  

The only thing I remember after that, of that day, was being at the hospital and lots of wires, brain tests being done on me.  My mother is the only other person, besides me, who knew the COMPLETE story.  She died about a month before your book, “FOREVER ANGELS” came out.  The hospital said I had a febrile seizure and from that point on I had to take daily medication for seizures.  My mother did not tell anyone how I wound up with a high temperature and having that seizure, so she never got into any kind of trouble with my father or the law, etc.  Bottom line is, she accidentally killed me and let it play out that a seizure had caused all of it, when in actuality, her shaking me so violently had caused the seizure.  

I believe the NDE I had then affected/shifted my entire life and continues to this very day.  People are readily affected by my presence, my positivity, my light.

When I was told before birth I would suffer from my mother, the NDE was not in the plans.  That part was unintentional on her part, and it was not in my life plan.  There was no question I was being put right back in.

I’ve made a recent career change and am now using my Behavioral Science degree to work with children with Autism.  I’ve put my Nursing degree on hold with this global pandemic and have done some continuing education in this field.  So, as a Registered Behavior Technician/Autism Therapist, providing 1:1 treatment, for whatever reason, several autistic children who do not readily make eye contact with others - make eye contact with me.

Thank you for the response to my case.  It’s good to be able to talk about this with someone who knows so much about it.  I have always wondered about experiences others have had SO YOUNG with NDEs, not just older kids, but babies.  Your book came out RIGHT WHEN I could really address it in my life, too….just after my mother died.  It was PERFECT timing for me.  I can’t thank you enough for writing this book.

*** THE FOREVER ANGELS:  NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES IN CHILDHOOD AND THEIR LIFELONG IMPACT.  Book available through any book source, also, or from my website at

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