Terrifying Childhood NDE

 QUESTION

“After experiencing the effects of a negative/terrifying NDE as a child, I came upon your interesting work.  I’m asking for your opinion and guidance.  At the time, I had no idea that what I was experiencing was a near-death experience.  It happened as a result of being sedated with ether at a dentist’s office in the early 1970s.  

“At some point during the dental procedure, I actually ‘woke-up’ and I remember opening my eyes during the procedure.  During the entire time and while laying in recovery for probably about 30 minutes, I had the distinct impression that I was floating and I had absolutely no sense of touch.  I could not feel my body.  It was as if I was experiencing being in my body and yet strangely fully detached from my body, while I walked to my dad’s car to go home.  I have no memory of anything except that evening, while sleeping in bed, I had the full on white light experience.  I was fully and completely enveloped in this bright white light.  It was as if I was standing in the center of a huge cotton ball.  Yet, if someone were watching me sleep, they would have seen my physical body having what would have appeared to be a seizure, though I have never had one in my life and never had one since.   When I woke the next morning, I was taken to the doctor and it was determined that I had whiplash.  It happened because of the uncontrollable thrashing while, inside my head, I was inside the light.  It was not a wonderful experience.  In fact, it was extremely terrifying for me as a young boy.  I remember very distinctly screaming at the top of my lungs one long scream, calling the word ‘mom.’  But apparently this scream was only in my own head.  I heard myself scream ‘mom’ in absolute terror, but it was not external.  It was only in my head while stuck in the light.

“There was no tunnel, no meeting anyone or anything.  It was just me surrounded by bright light while having some sort of one-off seizure.  I wish I could go back in time and prevent this from ever having happened.  It has caused a kind of disassociation and maybe even an atypical psychosis.  I have experienced ‘lost time.’  Sometimes I have total memory loss of parts of my life.  Like I am going through my life as a shell without my real presence in my body.  I’ve not had any luck with traditional psychiatry.  Of course, their only typical treatment is drugs.

“At any rate, having turned 54 years old two days ago, I thought I would reach out and see if you had any thoughts.  Oh, I will share with you something that I have discovered has helped, but not completely.  And that is, being in the altered state of my float tank while engaging in a conversation.  Sounds strange, I know, but I feel like I am ‘present’ and back in my shell of a body.  It calms down because since the light, the transition to sleep and back to waking (crossing and crossing back) has been the most terrifying experience of my life, which of course happens every time one goes to sleep.  Anyway, thank you so much for reading this and for any reply.  I appreciate all the work you’ve one in the field, and I am grateful to be able to communicate with you.”....Michael

ANSWER

Michael, read the book THE NEW CHILDREN AND NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES.  The sooner the better.  There is a drawing in the book about a boy given too much ether during the same surgery you had, and about what Mel Morse and I discovered - and that was doctors were regularly overdosing children and had been for decades - because they didn’t know better.  Finally, the medical community caught on and lowered the dose or used something else.

HEAR THIS, YOU ARE ONE OF THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF KIDS WHO WERE REGULARLY OVERDOSED DURING THE TYPE OF SURGERY YOU HAD.

It blew my mind when I found out.  I was overdosed too when a kid, but it did not affect me like it did you.  By the way, many of the children who were overdosed, as near as we can tell, also had a near-death experience, and with lifelong effects.

Maybe that will help you just knowing that.

In the back of THE NEW CHILDREN AND NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES is a large Resource Section.  Go through that.  I may help.  One of the things I found that helped many experiencers is to make your book.  Yup, I mean that.  Make a book of your entire experience.  Use whatever paper you want, maybe yarn to tie it together.  Have a cover with a title, then, by you.  Inside relate every single detail you can think of, bit by bit, then continue telling about how that affected you over time, then what happened as you aged, what you ran into with therapists, and where you are now.  Leave some extra pages blank for further remarks later on.  Make this a real project, because it is.  You’ll be surprised with how good you feel afterward.  Maybe read it several times.

What’s missing here is that throughout your life, you’ve spent more time lost in the mystery of what happened to you than you have integrating, learning from, benefitting from your experience.  Okay, so it’s time to turn the clock around.  It is time for you to make up for lost time.  Crazy, huh?  Well, anyway, begin some type of spiritual practice.  Yes, you can start with meditation, prayer, spiritual  disciplines………..but what I would recommend for you is learning how to do “spiritual mind treatments.”  That’s just another term for “positive prayer.”  You can contact Centers for Spiritual Living - CSL.org, or call them at (720) 496-1370.  Originally this was the Science of Mind teachings from Ernest Holmes.  Over the decades his book SCIENCE OF MIND ignited a spiritual movement (some say a religion) that enabled people to discover their real self, how to think and talk, with a program of spiritual growth that I feel is one of the most positive I’ve ever discovered.  After I died, I took their SOM-1 class.  That is Science of Mind 1.  In that class I learned how to think - literally!  Actually it teaches positive prayer, but the way they do it really turns you around.  They publish a wonderful monthly digest.  I subscribe to it, that’s how I know it’s so wonderful (chuckle).  Actually there are today a number of metaphysical groups, spiritual learning groups, classes of various kinds.  The reason I am talking about this is - this is where you need to begin - finding out about who you really are - the real you.  Spiritual training.  Look around.  Avoid anything that seems to be a cult or have a strong leader.  You want a metaphysical church or good metaphysical classes that help you discover the real YOU and how to think.

Do get on my website - visit the special section called NDE AFTEREFFECTS.  Get in there and read everything.  You could also get my book A MANUAL FOR DEVELOPING HUMANS.  That would really help too.  It’s time to leave the past behind.  Forgive everyone, even you, and begin a new path forward, discovering the wonder of you.  A worthy, fun, maybe scary but super good project.

Gung ho, friend.  It’s an exciting adventure. . . self-discovery!

Blessings, PMH