Leaving Life Behind

QUESTION

“I know you can help me with this. Within the space of less than one month (March/April, 2017), two deaths have occurred in my husband’s family. His Dad died April 21, 2017. His brother-in-law died 3 ½ weeks before.

“At his Dad’s funeral, my sister-in-law told me about her husband’s last moments. From his bed he repeatedly pointed with his finger to his mouth, inside of his mouth, specifically, and also asked “Where is my light? Where is my light?” Knowing little about near-death experiences, she was at a loss as to what the gesture meant, but assume he knew he was going in a few minutes, and wondered why he had not yet ‘seen the light,’ as so many of the dying do. She said he was in a state of agitation about whatever he was trying to tell her about his mouth, and also because he could not see the light. He passed within 3 minutes, she said.

“Her other sister was with my husband’s Dad more than anyone else in the family during his last two days. When she heard her sister telling me the story outlined above, she said that her Dad had made the very same gesture, pointing with his finger into his mouth, at different times during the two-day interval. I found this astounding, because being an NDEr myself (I have contributed to your blog in the past), I have studied and read profusely on the subject, but have not yet heard of this gesture in connection with the dying process.

“Have you ever heard this from people who work in Hospice care, perhaps, or from your NDE research in general? My sisters-in-law are very anxious to learn what they can about this.

“Thank you so much, Dr. Atwater, for your help, and for your many years of work. My NDE was 33 years go and has continued to be on my mind and has affected me in a positive way every day since.”

....Cynthia

ANSWER

Cynthia, pointing to the mouth or in the mouth to find the Light when dying, makes sense to me - although I must admit I haven’t heard too many people talking about this. You might get my DVD/CD called “As You Die” to better understand this. That presentation was made to be played for those about to leave us - the last 15 minutes after the last breath - as it enables the soul to leave the body easily and effortlessly. I’ve even had families a year or so afterward get “As You Die” for themselves for the comfort it brings them.

As you might remember, during those last days, hours, you are tuned into another frequency than during regular living. Language becomes more symbolic, less literal; interest switches to nature scenes and any type of light show or light beams or expressions of love with a sense of “inclusion.” The body during these closing hours begins to “float free,” to meld with beams and rays and bursts beyond what we can easily identify. As the body swells or at least tilts in weight away from the significance of physical need, it can often be engulfed by light. Loved ones see this and comment on it. If the dying cannot readily see the light, they can feel and sense - then the first place to look for it would, of course, be the mouth. That’s what babies and kids do - life is in the mouth. Ever watch tiny ones? They identify with the new life they are by feeling around their mouth, sucking, sticking their fingers in their mouth. Equally so, when leaving life behind - light is in the mouth, around the mouth, the light one came from. Our mouth is how we express, explore, poke around, receive nourishment, prove to ourselves we are real - real in a body that is decidedly human. When we no longer need that body, our mouth becomes a gateway - to another realm. It’s not our belly-button, it’s not our head, it’s not our heart or some silver chord that floats around. It’s our mouth that opens “the door” for everything else.

Not everyone experiences this. The majority zoom right past any “impediments,” anything that might slow the process of release. Seems to me, though, that the older a person is, the more likely they will be to mimic birth motions.

Just a thought. …PMH

How Can We Be Sure A Person is Really Dead?

QUESTION 

“I just finished reading your book, Near-Death Experiencers: The Rest of the Story, and now I am ‘haunted’ by this question: with several instances you cite of individuals reviving with no brain impairment after several days believed to be dead. How can we be sure that a person has actually, really died? How long must we wait to be sure? This is a question of great personal importance to me as I recently lost a loved one who had a cardiac arrest, and after three days we were informed by the doctors that there was no chance of recovery - his brain function was limited to low stem. The decision was made to allow him to go, and he breathed his last a couple of hours later. More generally, what would be reliable guidelines for determining that someone has gone and is not coming back, prior to proceeding with the final arrangements (embalming/cremation) that ensure no return? 

Thank you for considering this question.”.....Susan

ANSWER 

Our medical community is grappling with just this question. Following protocol is all we can do at this point in time, even if sometimes those protocols do not apply - like with near-death experiencers. But medicine is changing. One of the pioneers in a new type of medicine is Dr. Sam Parnia. You might google that name and see what you come up with. He’s written several books and is hard at work with actual research on new procedures in what is now called Resuscitation Medicine.

Yes, there are a number of people pronounced dead, who later revived in the morgue (much to the shock of morgue personnel). They were absolutely, positively dead - gone. Yet they came back. There are all manner of stories about this. Look in the Bible about Lazarus. We now know scientifically that when a baby is conceived, a bright light flashes. And, when a person dies, the same thing occurs. And that life flash/death flash happens with any animal or plant. So, what is life? Maybe we need to redefine life as well as redefine death. I’ve discussed this in several of my free monthly newsletters (available off my website in the Newsletter Archive), and I have broached it in my books. In truth, the near-death experience reveals more about life than it does death, and what it reveals is startling. We are capable of far more than we think we are.

How I handle this personally is to contact the soul, be with the soul, in prayer. What does the soul want? That to me is the more important question. What is going on spiritually, on greater and higher levels, that’s the place where I go for answers. Always. Sometimes the soul is ready to leave. Doesn’t matter what we want. What matters is what that soul wants. And sometimes that soul wants to stay here and will push us, prompt us, guide us in ways to help out, to heal. My life is filled with prayer, and with the joy of knowing I will be led rightly, for the highest good of all concerned. You bet I support Sam Parnia in his work, but I also give a wink to God. 

Blessings, PMH

Letting go, Saying good-bye, and Moving On

 QUESTION: 

“Thank you for your tireless work to learn and communicate what life and death mean and how we might better handle them. My question is how can I help my very ill close relative in her mid-nineties to let go when she seems to be holding on to meet the needs of others. I pray for comfort and assistance by those on the other side who are meant to help her. I wonder where they are or if she feels any support. Over several years of end-stage illness now, I visit and reassure her as simply as I can, that it’s okay if she wants to go, that everyone will be okay. Months go by. She continues to subsist with 24/7 RN care, beset by serial challenges like fevers that seem likely to free her, then do not. With dementia, seizures, and progressive loss of faculties and bodily functions, and largely immobile now, she can’t clearly communicate, but her eyes and vocalizations say that she is suffering and desperate. She can’t process language at the level of ordinary conversation or your CD ‘As You Die,’ which I had hoped to use. Sometimes she cries quietly. I have a very strong feeling she wants to go, but doesn’t know how. I have to work mostly from a geographical distance. Thank you.” . . . Michele

ANSWER: 

Since a book or CD will not help her, use visualizations. I assure you that on some level visualizations will get through. What I mean by visualization is this:

In your mind’s eyes, see her becoming more calm and more peaceful. Be with her. See her. Know for her that she is letting go of all that holds her here, all that holds her back. Affirm this “letting go” as you would affirm for a child, that a step-by-step process is working. See her beginning to let go. Flood her with music and images and feelings and knowings of how good it is to float free from her body - that her body will be just fine. Focus clearly, hear, see, feel, respond - in-depth and fully. Take all the time you need to do this. Help her to get used to leaving her body with the knowledge that she can come back if she wants to. Do this again and again, like training a child how to ride a bike. Then, help her to let go even further, and then set her free to fly away and not come back. Affirm and know that her soul is in charge and her soul can handle things from here on.

Visualizations, knowings. . . trust your part. . . will eventually be felt by her and she will eventually respond. NOW HEAR THIS: No matter how she responds, feel good about what you are doing and continue doing it until she or you feels enough has been done. When that moment comes, affirm that all is well. Your loved one is fine. Once you let this process work it’s way out, mean it. Don’t go back. Don’t collapse into a puddle of “I didn’t do enough.” You have trained her to let go. There comes a time when you must remove the “training wheels” and walk on. You could, if you are there when she actually expires, put “As You Die” back into the CD player and outloud play the last 10 to 15 minutes. The end of the CD, that particular part, is so designed to help the soul separate from the body. This may be beneficial for both of you. Give the CD to her family once she leaves. Ever so many families have contacted me, even a year later, and told me how important is was FOR THEM to hear the CD. They gained much comfort just from listening. ...PMH

Death and the Sensitive Child

QUESTION

"My daughter is 6 years old. My husband's family lives overseas. She has only seen them once or twice. My husband's mother passed away right after he was born, and my daughter is named after her. A few weeks ago, my husband's grandfather died, and my husband flew overseas to the funeral. I was very careful with my words around my daughter about when the funeral was. However, right at 2:00 am our time (when the funeral started overseas), my daughter got really sick. She started to throw up and looked like she was going to need to go to the hospital. Then, at 4:00 am (when the funeral would have ended), it just disappeared - she was back to her old self. She went back to bed and had no other signs of sickness. Now, only a month later, my husband's stepmother is dying of cancer and is having a doctor-assisted suicide on Monday morning, 3:00 am our time. However, my daughter is getting that same sickness as she did a month ago with my husband's grandfather. She is pale and throwing up, and it seems to have come out of nowhere. When I asked her what was wrong, she said she was worried about Oma (my husband's stepmother). I told her she didn't have to worry cuz she was really sick, and God was going to take her home very soon. My daughter replied with "I know," so I told her that it would be good when Oma went to heaven cuz then she would not hurt anymore. My daughter nodded, and now she is asleep. I can't find anything on the Internet about this sort of thing. Do you have any thoughts whatsoever?"....Sara

ANSWER

There is a very strong tie between your daughter and her grandparents. Many reasons could be offered as to why this could be, yet we cannot know exactly what is true. Maybe your daughter will finally learn the reason herself one day, perhaps in a dream that comes to her. If you find that she does this with other people who are not related or close to her in some way, then, something else may be going on. She could be an empath. Watch her and see how she responds to the illness of others, as she grows. If she seems to take on the illness or pain of others, that is your clue to her being an empath. As time goes on, though, if her only such link has been solely with grandparents, there could be a connection between her and them of another nature. Look to see if she is taking on their characteristics, seems somehow to be like them. They could, if you notice this, be "visiting" your daughter or channeling through her or enhancing her abilities with their own. What you need to watch for is. . . if she seems to BECOME them. If this occurs, it could be a case of possession. I doubt that anything like this would happen, but be alert nonetheless.

There is nothing here for you to be worried about, really. Just watch her. Reacting as she did is not that unusual, at least for a sensitive child, or for one who is linked on the soul level to another. We have no way to know the lengths and depths of any such link; that's why I say, just watch her. If she grows up pretty much as the lovely child she is, maybe takes after one or both grandparents, well, that's normal. But, if she continues to be unusually sensitive, if you're smart, you'll seek out some good trainers who can help her to be more balanced. There are some very grounded, practical, and ethical psychics and mystics who could train her or give classes she could attend on how to handle her abilities and not be a prisoner of them. Sensitive children are nothing to be worried about or afraid of. They just need understanding parents and freedom "with a fence around it" so they can explore their version of reality, and without fear.

Many blessings to you, and big hugs to your daughter. She is fine. On my website, I believe in the Chart section, are renderings of "What Death Is" and "What It Feels Like To Die." Download them and let your daughter read them when she is a little older. Kids are smart these days. She may fool you, and, she may actually know far more than you think she does. Get my book, Children of the Fifth World. Use it as a resource, not only to better understand your daughter, but also as a referral service to help you reach out for additional information. If your daughter is old enough, have her read it too. Blessings, PMH

SPECIAL COMMUNICATIONS CONCERNING THE EDGE OF DEATH

This blog is mostly dedicated to questions and answers as concerns the near-death phenomenon and related subjects. I am deeply concerned with sustainability, eco-gardens, real seeds (not the Monsanto kind), and how to protect our food and farms. So, occasionally, I'll carry something about those subjects, too. This time, though, I received two stories about the coming of death and manifestations after death, that are so touching I want very much to share them with you. ~PMH

The first is an e-mail from Oswald, and the second is an article Eben wrote.

THE E-MAIL FROM OSWALD:

Dear Dr. Atwater:

In March of this year, I sent the following three e-mails to my children about my wife Joan, who died on February 24, 2008, after a marriage of 55 years. She appeared in my bedroom at 4:00 am on March 3, 2010 looking her natural self and bathed in light. Is this unusual?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010: "I spoke to Sheila today and told her about seeing Joan around 4 this morning. I woke up, opened my eyes, and there she was - standing in full view by the standard lamp near the wardrobe, bathed in light, looking at a notebook not unlike our little phone book, solidly three-dimensional, not at all ethereal, intent on what she was doing, her body moving in keeping with what she was doing. I stared for a moment, thought I would not like to disturb her, or be caught staring at her, so I closed my eyes for a few seconds. When I opened them again, she was gone and the room was in darkness, except for the glow from pilot lights and modem."

Sunday, March 14, 2010: "It will not surprise you to hear that not a day passes without my thinking about March 3rd. Nothing remotely like this has ever happened to me before. Quite frankly I never thought it ever could, though there have been days during Quaker meetings for worship when I would open my eyes and wonder whether I would see Joan there, just as Dorrett had seen Helen in meeting for worship, standing beside her, completely herself, after she died. With me, too, it just seemed perfectly natural that Joan should be there; and since she was always such a caring, loving person, her presence was as reassuring and comforting as it has always been."

Tuesday, March 30, 2010: "I have to tell you that I continue to reflect on what I saw on March 3rd. It was not a dream. It was not an "out-of-body" experience - since I remained firmly rooted to my bed throughout. It was an external event with a clearly defined series of observations. I woke up, opened my eyes, saw what I did, had a few thoughts about it, closed my eyes, then opened them again. A very ordinary sequence of movements and an extraordinary glimpse into another dimension of time and space. Why I was privileged to see this I do not know, but it has been a truly humbling experience. The prevailing memory is that there was so much light. Joan bathed in light. It brings to mind the countless stories of people who have had near-death experiences, about which there are numerous websites. What it says for me is that Joan is alive and well and enjoying what she now does. Perhaps even an angel?"

I would be grateful for your views on this episode. Your "The Big Book of Near-Death Experiences" has been very helpful. Thank you, Oswald

***

If you're wondering what I said to Oswald, please know that I assured him that his sighting of his beloved wife is fairly normal. These types of sightings and other related "visitations" are far more common than we are told. I suggested that he read "Hello from Heaven," a wonderful book about this type of thing based on careful, objective interviews by Bill Guggenheim and Judith Guggenheim.

AN ARTICLE FROM EBEN, ENTITLED "MY MONDAY MIRACLE:"

(Explanation: Eben is in his eighties and has had a series of heart attacks, so many that his doctors are puzzled as to why he is still alive. Eben has always been a visionary: as a city planner he designed a green belt walkway around Charlottesville, Virginia, and the Rivanna River, during a time when nobody did anything like that for city residents. His goal is to write a book, "little stories" as he calls them, about his long life. His book is almost finished. Here is an article he wrote about it.)

For the last three years I have enjoyed writing little stories of my family and personal adventures in my life as a gift to my family. As a mound of manuscripts piled up from my computer, with stories that have been generated by the thoughts and recollections of events I have enjoyed from the past, I have been encouraged by my three children to put them together in a small book that will preserve them for future readers, family, and friends.

Yesterday (Monday, March 29, 2010) my three dear children had nearly finished preparing my manuscript for publication. My daughter, a professor who teaches advanced English composition at a university near Richmond, had led the challenge of preparing my nearly 100 stories (a lifetime of adventures!) for taking it to the printers. Teamed up with her two brothers, Gary and Greg, they had put the finishing touches necessary to get it ready for printing as a polished, finished work. She has had years of experience as a teacher, English professor, and editor who has gotten her own works published in distinguished journals.

Her brother Gary was similarly experienced in the latest technologies in publishing electronic manuscripts on the Internet. Their younger brother, Greg, was "in the loop" for local sources of the technologies necessary to make our plans come to reality: 20 printed, bound copies for family and local friends, and unlimited access to free copies on the Internet. Gary had, the day before, completed the electronic scanning of my 100+page manuscript with the scanner available here at the Jefferson Heights office.

Gayla, over the last week, led a last-minute search of our voluminous collection of family photographs for an attractive addition of color and black and white photos to spice up the text. All week we had given sysyphean efforts to get everything ready for the "printing." Gayla took the entire text with improvements to Richmond, after making final changes to the electronically-stored text! (These changes should greatly improve the professional appearance of the text.)

About 12:00 noon, Monday, I finally called Gayla with my two pages of new text on Gary. I fumbled an attempt to send it to her as an e-mail enclosure. We switched to a verbatim transmission by phone, with Gayla writing it down word-for-word.

I realized that, in a very real sense, we were racing to beat my possible passing! The Hospice nurses were, almost literally, waiting outside my door. They would be here tomorrow.

I looked up and saw that my grandfather clock had just stopped:

The pendulum now hung inert. Fragments of the nursey rhyme about the Grandfather's clock sprang instantly to mind:

"My grandfather's clock, where it stood on the shelf,
Tick, tock, tick, tock.

90 years without stumbling,
Tick, tock, tick, tock.

90 years without fumbling,
Tick, tock, tick, tock.

But it stopped short, never to go again
When the old man died."

This failure of my grandfather clock, a precious inheritance from my dear "Uncle" Dimick," I had never experienced before.

With stunned surprise, I instinctively checked my pulse to make sure I was still alive and conscious, rose from my chair, walked over to the clock, opened the glass door, and started the pendulum back into its familiar swing.

I WAS STILL IN CONTROL.

I want to live to be 100, I thought, and returned to my work in progress.

Tears of gratitude flowed for those three heroes I call "my kids." How proud their mother would have been of them this day!

(I encourage every senior citizen, if at all possible, to either write a book about their life, or at least record on paper or CD some of their stories. This is so important. Even if family is gone, those stories are still history, contributions to the life of community as it passes to the next generation. Our histories, our thoughts, what we did or didn't do, all of it matters. . . because we matter. Hear me when I say: write your book! Thank you, PMH)

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Take Action for better food and farm policy

Please sign this petition. I did, and I hope you will, too. ~PMH

If you're interested in better food & farm policy, consider taking 30 seconds to sign the petition to the US Department of Justice asking them to fully enforce pro-competition laws already on the books and break up the corporate monopolies that have hijacked our food system-- destroying the livelihoods of farmers across the country, bringing us the monstrosities that we know as factory farms (or CAFOs), and making our food supply less safe and more prone to price spikes like those that sparked the 2008 global Food Crisis. This is only one part of a large problem, but it is a significant part.