Sharing a Near-Death Experience

QUESTION

“I read about the four phases of integration, and I had some questions - specifically about the part where sharing their story becomes a priority.  My question is, when NDErs share their story, how desperate are they for people to believe them? Or, do they show off their psychic powers to try and convince people what happened to them was real?”.....Andrew

ANSWER

That’s a big question, Andrew.  Adults usually take about 7 to 10 years to integrate their experience.  That finding of mine was verified scientifically by Dr. Pim van Lommel and his team in a prospective study done in Holland.  It appeared in Lancet Medical Journal 12-14-01.

With adults, talking about it is primary - if they can.  The desire is certainly there. They want to share the news of what just happened to them.  They want others to know. They want a dialogue, a way to discuss all the many things they saw and experienced, even if their episode was brief and included only one or two elements, or long and complex with many elements.  Doesn’t matter. They want to share their story, talk about it. Was it real? Had anyone ever heard of such a thing before? Sometimes experiencers are thrilled to announce and utterly convinced that what they witnessed on the other side of death was a miracle, or, at least an “earth-shaking” occurrence.  Many who could see their body far below are especially talkative, curious, surprised, perplexed, maybe troubled. Still, they want others to know. Talking to others helps to validate what they went through. It gives them feedback of some kind.

Others are frightened.  It is way too far out, too unusual,  Would anyone believe them? Can they believe it?  Was it real? What does it mean? What might others say?  The sense that they might be construed as crazy shuts many of them up.  It takes the average experiencer many years to say much to anyone. The exception is someone they can trust - like a husband or wife, special friend.  Even so, most stay quiet or say very little, maybe over time they might say more - “like testing the waters” to see if they could be believed. Some go to their minister or a religious person of some type:  invariably that proves to be the wrong choice. Even today, ministers, clerics of every stripe, seem to be the worst possible person to turn to and can shame the experiencer. Only if the near-death episode follows “the letter of the law” according to the faith of the one the experiencer turned to, can they be believed.  This turns off experiencers, confuses them, scares them, blocks any appreciation for or curiosity about the event.

You need to talk.  But to whom?

Do experiencers brag, show off, afterward?  Some do, but very few. What can sometimes occur, though, is that overtime, once the experiencer is more comfortable with what happened to them, and the extras that follow, they can become like “the chosen few” in the way they can take over conversations and dominate “show and tell” sessions.  Yes, some do brag as if what happened to them was rare, and they must be equally rare to have been “chosen” for such a gift. Some turn to healing and can become really good healers. Same with any new ability or knowing or gift of the spirit. Now, since the phenomenon has become better known, it is not unusual to find those who have become professional psychics, mediums, healers, artists, and public speakers.  This has led to some very fine careers, or some very awful plunges into the negative side of one’s ego.

In a few cases, the enhancements that can occur, lead individuals to blessed and exciting careers and/or points of service.  Some enter the ministry or become professional at whatever point of service they are drawn into. Remember, most of the saints canonized by the Cathlic Church, had a near-death experience as a child.  There is a “Historical Cases” chapter in my newest book, The Forever Angels:  Near-Death Experiences in Childhood and Their Lifelong Impact.

Yes, there are “chat rooms” on the Internet for experiencers that are truly a waste of time, as experiencers who participate tend to judge others and claim they alone know best.  Certainly there are experiencers, even right now, who are media sensations making claims that “God told them” …………….. (whatever). The vast majority, though, work their way through the drama and scare and wonder of what happened to them, finding new horizons that lead to a more spiritual and fulfilling life.

I have covered adults thus far.  My newest book (just mentioned) shows us there is another pattern altogether with the very young.  It takes the average child experiencer 20 to 40 years to integrate their experience - if they ever integrate it at all.  Babes, toddlers, kids up to and around five, either don’t have a “before” to compare anything, or, very little of one. Because such experiences happen at major junctures in brain and nerve development, you get a different kind of story, a different way to look at not only the experience but the way it impacts those who had it.  Be sure to read the new book. It is out now, and will both surprise and shock you.  

Many blessings, PMH