“I am not sure if this is the right e-mail for a brief personal question. Imagine you have a serious mental disease. You first try on medication, but it fails. Then you assume there is a reason for this and you try to take responsibility for that: psychotherapy, medication, flower essences, homeopathy, Reiki, Barbara Brennan’s healing (the list is endless). When everything fails, you try to accept what is happening because it is the will of God and pray. But the cross is too big to bear (in fact your own will has disappeared somewhere in your delusions), and you also fail. I have only a question on what is left of my mind. How can you obtain a piece of compassion from the spiritual world after 30 years of this?”....Sergio
I cannot speak to your path or the commitment of your soul. We are each different, and the paths we take link more to soul growth than to common sense or even what feels right. Sometimes, if we cannot “set things straight,” the route ahead presents itself as endurance - rather than healing - and in that sense pain may be our “teacher” or our “friend” or our “jailer.” Healing may not be the future of all who suffer, and for the reason that the suffering we have may be connected to a whole different scenario …… other than what seems logical or possible. We may even have “agreed” to it before we were born. Success and healing are relative terms: who among us can define either?
You can look at something like this and say, “I deserve it,” thinking in terms of karma and past lives. Such an admission doesn’t set well with me, however, because at least in my experience, there was always another “door” to open or another way to think or feel or handle things. What we are told about “enlightenment” isn’t always true the way we think it should be. Same with healing. Same with living. You might explore past lives with a good hypnotherapist, just to see if that method might be of benefit to you. Sometimes, though, silence is enough - out in nature - opening up to nature - as shaman’s say, “crying for a vision.” Time has absolutely no meaning on “the other side.” What seems forever to us is but a flip of an eyelash over there.
That you have searched, walked so many paths in search of healing, says that you want to heal and are willing to “allow.” Maybe that’s the key for you, to “allow.” I did that for nearly 30 years in near-death research, before my peer group finally accepted me - at least a little. How do you mark pain? Being snubbed, mistreated, ignored, cursed, and on and on, that’s pain, too.
I cannot offer you miracles, although I’d like to. What I can offer you is peace. Even through the rack of pain, peace is possible - the peace of letting go and “allowing,” knowing that somehow, someway, there is purpose in this and that purpose has purpose.
Blessings, dear one. Know that nothing you have done is wasted effort. Earthly measures do not always equate with other-dimensional ones. ––PMH