Integration after a Near-Death Experience

QUESTION:

“I am a 40-year-old woman married to an amazing man, the mother of six beautiful children, and I have an amazing life. I am Australian, grew up in California, and currently reside just outside of Memphis, Tennessee. My husband is a 47-year-old pilot with Fedex. I would love the opportunity to talk with you about my recent NDE, when I flat-lined for just over a minute after I hemorrhaged my blood volume three times. What I experienced was undeniable. I begged, I pleaded, I cried out. So much fight. So determined, so hopeful - closing my eyes to the light - not wanting to be tempted by what I might see. I could hear His Voice, was talking to me - blind in the darkness. Explosive visions appear. My entire life revealed - year after year - but in a split second. Suddenly innately aware, I traveled inside the souls of each of the five children I share. No words could do justice. The things that I saw - the love in their hearts - the crosses they bore. I had full understanding of the present and the past, and the effect on the future my absence/my presence might cast.

“So I pleaded. I begged. I gave it my all. Please let me stay with my family. I started to fall. From out of the darkness and away from the light, a glorious meadow. I regained my sight. Amazingly rich colors, lush green grass, blue sky. Unable to move from the cross-shaped bales of hay on which I lie. Warmed by peace. Overwhelmed with love, the light engulfed me in heaven above. I returned to my body completely aware and awake. Undeniably real, the experience I take. I know now what awaits me. At the true end of the day, heaven is filled with love. In the most glorious way, I thank God each day for giving me life. For one more I love you. As a mother and wife, my faith in God gave me the glasses to see the path He has mapped. . . especially for me.”.....Cassandra

ANSWER: 

Cassandra, you had a very deep and meaningful near-death experience, and, apparently, just last year (2014). When these experiences are over, they aren’t over. It takes a minimum of 7 to 10 years to integrate them, and a lifetime to fully unpack their meaning. That’s because there are aftereffects, a pattern of physiological and psychological changes you go through, or should I say “grow” through. There are four stages to the integration process: the first three years you are still somewhat lost in the glow of what happened and tend to be evangelistic in a desire to let the “world” know that God exists, death doesn’t. The next four years you are much more able to flow back into family and job and life as usual. No, you’re not the same, still you are somehow able to “translate” what happened to you in ways that do not overwhelm or put off others. Stage three we call “your first birthday” (usually at that seventh or by the tenth year). You are now fully back in the sense of being able to use what you learned in ways that do indeed make a positive difference on your job, in your family, with life in general. You’re back, fully engaged, yet that sense of being forever different remains. The fourth phase (usually the 14th to 20th year afterward) hardly anyone expects or even recognizes when it occurs. I call it a “second drop,” a time when “gifts” you gained from your experience seem to wain, fade, be unusable, or don’t work as they did before. There can be feelings of lostness, like you’ve “lost” your way. What worked before, doesn’t seem to be that effective. . . like you’re losing it. Often major challenges occur: you lose your job, suddenly have little or no money, deaths of loved ones, your house burns down, a car crash, being constantly misunderstood or ignored, bouts of depression - or any number of upheavals that seem to annihilate what once seemed so precious and permanent. Once you can repurpose your life, understand the darkness light can bring, you finally reach that “pearl of great price” and discover as you do the true reality of what happened to you and what you learned in the process. It really takes this fourth stage before you reach that greater understanding and peace.

Yearly conferences of the International Association for Near-Death States (IANDS) regularly tackle subjects related to aftereffects. The last was held in San Antonio, Texas (2015), the next will be in Orlando, Florida (2016). These conferences are amazing, truly amazing. If you can possibly save up to attend one, please do. To obtain more information about conference, go to www.iands.org. Their website covers all kinds of material, offerings, findings, and recommendations.

There is a book out, The Big Book of Near-Death Experiences, that will help you to put everything in perspective, and give you so much help. It is available directly from IANDS, or from me, or you can order it from any bookstore or Amazon.com. The book covers all aspects of the experience, the experiencers themselves (child and adult), aftereffects, integration, special chapters for religious folk and for medical people.

For now, be careful with pharmaceuticals. The average experiencer loses their tolerance levels for them afterwards. That’s why so many turn to natural methods of healing, homeopathy, etc. Be careful also of light and sound (we tend to become more sensitive to them), and electrical sensitivity. There’s no denying that one’s electromagnetic field tends to change after a near-death experience, some more than others. If you insist on wearing a watch, you might wear one that uses solar batteries instead of regular ones.

The near-death experience is quite a phenomenon, far more than just a light show with a storyline. Most of us are changed forever by what happened to us. 

Blessings, PMH