The Spectre of Ego

QUESTION: 

"I am getting more and more disillusioned at NDRs and the different messages or different 'truths' that they bring back to tell us. Some of them totally contradict the messages that other NDErs tell us, and some of the more prominent NDErs, i.e., ones who wrote books, appeared on Oprah, etc., are either highly revered or totally criticized and get into arguments with NDE groups on the Internet. I got attacked by one of the groups and left. YET they condemn religion; which I also have issues with. But what bothers me more than anything is that the majority of them have their beliefs that there are no consequences and hell does not exist. I was attacked for telling some of them that that isn't true. I can't get near these groups anymore and thought I could see or experience something better than this." ~Linda

ANSWER: 

Near-death experiencers, one way or another, sooner or later, have to face the spectre of ego. They have seen and experienced a different world, for most a better world, and they want to tell everyone what they saw, learned, and continue to learn - as many have become psychics, mediums, or channelers, or in some way "experts" on the phenomenon and what it means.

We all meet that ego spectre. At first, it's like you are a "deer in the headlights," eyes bright, innocent, filled with the "all-knowingness" that you were exposed to. You feel invincible. You feel blessed and special and unique, and are humbled to be able to share what changed you, with the hope the news may change others. Too much attention seems to corrupt the message, or it at least alters the scene. How do you handle the new-found attention? A while ago real superstars were created who made a lot of money. The jury is still out as to how that affected them in the long run. One of the most vicious human beings I have ever met became a well-known and well-loved (?) experiencer - by those who never encountered "the other side" of that person's nature. Years have past. I prefer to believe that this individual has changed and for the better. I do not know if this is true, but it is what I prefer to believe.

So, the media is at it again, creating superstars and making people a lot of money. Great. Yet, as before, some seem to be able to handle their stardom rather well; others? I cringe sometimes and pray for the best.

The near-death experience does not create angels. It gives us all a shove toward a direction in life we are neither prepared to go or have any idea how to handle it. Integration takes time, lots of it, to mellow out and put things in perspective. I know it did me. I see this as well in others. One advantage I had was being one of the pioneers in the field. "Out there," as I was, gave me an opportunity to see myself through the eyes of thousands of others. Very embarrassing, very frightening, very wonderful - absolutely necessary if one is ever to learn balance. I have often said that after one deals with the "stars" one sees, it is best get yourself to classes of every kind. Refine your new skills. Better understand yourself and others. Recognize what you are doing and the "other" person you are becoming. Question that. Question again and again. None of us know as much as we think we do. Forgiveness applies, even of ourselves.

If you find blogs offensive, get off the blog. If you find Facebook filled with braggerts and fools, get off Facebook. Don't blame the phenomenon's worth or meaning on the behavior of a few. Stop. Take a look at yourself and see what it is in you that finds such behavior offensive. This may be an opportunity for you to see things differently. I've learned this: step aside and look again. This doesn't mean I'm a patsy. But it does mean that I've learned to take that second look, the one inside myself. Where am I coming from? What step can I take to make a difference, or, simply bless what I find and walk on?

I almost did what you're tempted to do - defame the whole thing and walk away, utterly convinced that the "changed" really hadn't changed that much, and the claims that were made were a joke. I came within a hare's breath of burning all my research and claiming the field itself and all therein a fraud. Then the phone rang. A kind and understanding woman on the other end just listened as I screamed and yelled and cried at the unfairness of it all and how the experiencers themselves were little more than spoiled brats making pretty one minute and stabbing you in the back the next minute. I went on like that for an hour. Then she spoke: "I had no idea anything like this was going on. I'll look into it." I wiped away my tears and got back to work, a little wiser and a whole lot more patient. . . for I had seen myself in the faces of "others" and I didn't like what I saw. They will change (if they ever do) when the time is right. But for me the onus of change was on me.

If anything came of the woman's promise to check on things, no word ever came to me. Didn't matter, really. I learned what I needed to know, buckled down, worked harder, and did more. All of the books I wrote after Coming Back To Life can be traced back to how that one event affected me. Sometimes the worst that could ever happen, turns out to be a gift. I offer this to you for whatever it may be worth. 

Blessings, PMH