NDE in the Womb or Between Birth and Age Five

STORY/QUESTION

“Hello, it is good to connect with you once again.  I had emailed you a couple of years ago regarding the research and books you had put together for our benefit.  You said at the time that you were not in a place to do research and were, as you put it, ‘I prefer to dig through the sparkles of life that surround me, than sitting at another’s feet to hear other views.’  I thought to myself, ‘I’ve been doing that my whole life and now it was time to integrate these childhood experiences, and hear other’s views on this life.’  And you help me with this part.  Thank you for your books and talks that you graciously offer to us all.

“Part of why I am sending you this now is that I just finished watching your podcast at “The Afterlife Files” in which you spoke on the secrets of living life as an adventure.  I couldn’t help but believe it was mainly about the subject of childhood NDE’s.  As a 2-year-old who experienced an NDE, I can quickly identify with your discussions regarding this experience.  One part you had spoken about 74 percent of us are highly successful and also suffer from PTSD.  You are correct about this in my case.  I have had 44 years of a successful career in law enforcement.  And I suffer from a huge PTSD experience.  I would go further to say it is “complex PTSD” if you would consider this as well.  It is in my case.  And the part about being homesick for Heaven is so very true.  That would very much support my view on this, and yes, I don’t want to be here.

“Please indulge me for a moment to this experience.  I will share a story about my mother to explain my feelings for this homesickness for Heaven.  You see, back in 1934, my mother was born a twin.  Her identical sister died at birth.  I only came to understand what I’m sharing from last week.  I could never understand my mother’s lack of ‘luster’ for life.  She suffered many mental health issues which she was able to hide for the most part.  But one thing she couldn’t hide from my empathic abilities was her profound and deep sense of loneliness.  It was the loss of this bond that she had for her sister that was lost in this world.  I have discovered that the bonds for an identical twin are more intimate and closer than any other bond in this physical world.  There is no other relationship in this world that is closer.  Not even a mother and daughters.

“So I looked inward towards myself and tried to explain this sense of 

being homesick and so very much alone in this world.  In my case, I have never bonded with anyone in this world.  I never felt love until I reached the age of 57.  I tried to understand why this was, and this is what I discovered.  Like my mother, I had bonded early in life with someone who took my heart hostage.  And from that I was never satisfied with anyone else having this part of me.  When I had my NDE experience, I bonded with my Creator and I have led a long life of trying to get back to this place.  I call the experience “Beauty Married with Love.”  I bonded with God in this moment and have never been able to move past that part of my life.  He told me before I returned to my body that this life would be very hard.  I look at the successful life I have lived and couldn’t explain how life could be so hard with the successes that I have experienced.  But I can tell you that life has been very hard.  And it is because of this loneliness that I am always drawn towards.  I feel different, set about, and lost in a world that seems so distant from my heart.  And it is this profound and deep sense of loneliness that makes it so.  God told me that upon my return to my body, I would not know love for others.  But he would provide a gift that would help me - a great hope in all things.  He said that it would be enough until it was time for me to experience love.  He said that if I were to know love before it was time that I would want to leave this life and I would choose to end it.  Looking back, I thought to myself, He was correct.

“One last thing.  Before I met you, I had a vision in a dream about you.  I couldn’t understand the setting until I watched your podcast.  In it you had said that you met Filamina in an airport for a short get-together.  In my dream I was there in that airport for that meeting.  I believe I was experiencing this meeting through Filamina’s spiritual being.  All I know is that she/I was so excited to see you.  And you had such a wonderful smile and our spirit was all around you, outside of you, and so beautiful,  I could see your essence and the passion that you exhibited from the colors all around your head.  They showed like the colors of a rainbow and were like small bows in your hair.  And you spoke without speaking with your mouth.  The words you spoke I couldn’t understand in the body but in the spirit I could.  They sounded like you were speaking in ‘tongues’ and from a language that would only be understood in the spirit.  At the end of the meeting, and as I saw you depart, I felt like something very precious had been given to me.  I had a greater sense of identity and self-worth.  And I knew someone who understood what love is and how to express it.  That was like my NDE that I spoke of, and that being “Beauty Married with Love.”

“Thank you for sharing this beautiful life you call your own.  And I look forward to more of our intimate conversations in the spirit.”....Daniel

ANSWER

Daniel, you are so typical of near-death experiencers who had their NDE either in the womb and/or between birth and age five.  Please read THE FOREVER ANGELS:  NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES IN CHILDHOOD AND THEIR LIFELONG IMPACT.

You remind me so much of a policeman in New York City, near his 40’s, who called me after reading that book.  He was crying.  Can you imagine that…and said my book helped him to see himself and know why his life has been what it was.  He could never understand, until we spoke.

Yes, yes, yes.  Somehow I seem to become the “voice” of so many just like you.  How wondrous.  Remember, I’m a cop’s kid and was “raised” in the police station, waiting on my Dad for a ride home during his coffee breaks.  You would understand anything I said because of that link.  You would know I knew.

As for myself, I have struggled to write my memoir/autobiography.  I am a researcher, so talking about myself is utterly foreign.  Took me five years, five versions, now done.  Look for EDGE WALKER:  THE MANY LIVES AND DEATHS OF PMH ATWATER.  You get it from Amazon.com.  I only became a researcher of near-death states because of what I was told to do by The Voice Like None Other, during my third NDE.

Do subscribe to my free monthly newsletter called “For The Curious.”  You do that by getting on my website, www.pmhatwater.com, and then over to Newsletter.  There is an Archive, so you can look back and see if this is the kind of publication you want to have.  

I just like sharing.  Yes, life to me is a joy, even when I’m miserable or in pain.  The joy never subsides.  Always there.  Blessings, PMH