How to Understand and Integrate Near-Death and Otherworldly States

QUESTION:

"A few years back, I had experiences that were very near death. I got to see many things that were just plain awesome. Since then, things in my life have changed and I no longer seem to have the connection that I had at the time to see those things. During that time I had lost my fear of death and such, seeing what it was really like. I thought everything was alright; but, lately, I've felt a strong feeling of uncertainty, fear, even terror at the thought of death. It's as if part of me is so frightened of it, the other part knows it's not the end and I end up with a very confusing struggle within. It makes it frightening to even sleep.


"But even the side of me that does believe, to a degree, is still scared. Some people say that people need to believe in life after death because they are afraid of death. I tell them I am afraid of death BECAUSE I believe. My spiritual beliefs, they don't bring me peace. They are frightening. Here's why............


"To know that one day everything I know could be revealed, again seeing the entirety of existence; here, I'm just a human. Family, friends, I like music and I love to mess around with my garden. I have ideas of what I'd like to do with the next few decades of my life. But I almost wish I could make it last even longer so I can continue to do those things. But, at the same time, I don't want to get stuck here in this world anymore. If I come back to this world, what will I face? Could I I come back blind? deaf? deformed? mentally handicapped? born into a family, perhaps as a girl, with a dirty father who would rape his own child? I see the things some of these people go through in life and feel humbled that my problems are small compared to theirs. To come back to that possibility?


"And even more frightening, to know that just by death here on earth one could go from being a simple human to dropping the veils and being completely reunited as god? from man to god just by dying? Some think that would be wonderful! And perhaps it is. But it's overwhelming ..........


"Do others who have had experiences with NDEs and such, report similar feelings? feelings of fear of death, even with knowing life continues? feelings of being overwhelmed with the possibilities of what happens afterwards?


"Your thoughts about this would be greatly appreciated." ...Jason


ANSWER:

Jason, I always encourage experiencers of near-death and other such otherworldly states to enroll in classes, read books, or attend churches or study groups that explore spirituality, metaphysics, and mysticism. And to learn all they can about prayer and about meditation, and hopefully practice both. Seldom is a life-changing experience enough. We need grounding afterward, and we need to know we are not alone in what happened to us and what we experienced and what is still occurring in our lives. Always there are puzzles, contradictions.


We had the experience. Now, we need to understand and integrate the experience.


Without taking that "next step," we can become frightened or depressed or confused or disappointed or frustrated afterward. And this is what I am hearing from you. You are allowing "what ifs" to run away with your imagination and become stumbling blocks for you. The "what ifs" you are afraid of do not exist. They are not part of your life, nor will they be - unless you want them and program that result. If we fail to integrate our experiences, make what we learn from them a daily part of our lives, the aftereffects can become superficial and have little affect as years pass. It's when we integrate our experiences that the affect they have on us continues, and expands, and accelerates in a positive way year after year. Integration is the key.


Sometimes participating in a spiritual study group or attending a metaphysical church like Unity or Religious Science enables us to better understand ourselves and what we went through. This understanding brings great peace and inspiration, uplifting our days instead of confusing them.


I would urge you, if you cannot join such groups and churches, to find a class in spiritual development or in "know thyself," or get some tapes or books that might be of benefit to you, or join a group like the International Association For Near-Death Studies (IANDS), who regularly offer a number of services and materials for experiencers like yourself.


Jason, don't let your mind run away with you. What you are concerned about, what frightens you and worries you, need not be. None of those "what ifs" exist as truth for you. Once you begin to relax into what is really true for you and the life you lead, the happier you will be and the easier your thoughts will arrange themselves into positive affirmations that will help, not hinder, you.


All of my books have Resource Sections where you can obtain ideas, referrals, and suggestions that really make a difference and help in taking that next step and the one after that. There is no reason why your experiences should be fading or not benefitting you in positive ways. Check out my website at www.pmhatwater.com, or read any of my books, especially Beyond the Light (it will soon be out as a print-on-demand book through Transpersonal Publishing--look for a notice later this fall). The Resource Section at the back of that particular book is jam-packed with the type of information you might want.


It is true that some experiencers never move beyond the fear their episode generated for them. Of the more general type of heaven-like episodes, I would estimate their number as one to five percent. That's not many. And it need not be you. "Knock on some doors," Jason, as there are many opportunities and people readily available to assist you. Contact IANDS. There may be a Friends of IANDS group who meets near you. Attending would be an ideal way to begin learning more. Contact: office@iands.org and ask about groups near you.


Many blessings, PMH

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Just published: the first book written by a child experiencer of a near-death state - while still a child!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't had a chance to read my copy, but here's how to obtain one:

In His Arms: Experiences with the Other Side, Denise Mendenhall
Cost - $23.95 plus $3 shipping/handling
Contact her Dad: Doug Mendenhall, P. O. Box 282, Mt. Pleasant, UT 84647
E-Mail: halmendenhall@aim.com

At first glance the book seems to be very Christ centered (Jesus is now Denise's best friend), and somewhat influenced by Mormanism, which is the family's faith. I look forward to reading it and will give a full report later. This book is very important because of the clarity of Denise's views and how she perceives her experience and its aftereffects. ...PMH