Wednesday, December 01, 2004

"Feeling" someone has died?

QUESTION: Two years ago a very good friend of mine was very sick (dying). This sickness all came about very quickly. She had sepsis, as well as lupus. We were all called into the hospital because time was getting close. My friend had been taken from her room to the Emergency Room to be monitored. There were no beds in CCU at the time. Her sister was coming in from New York and had asked me to pick her up at the airport. Before leaving the hospital, we were all allowed in the room for a few minutes. I knew she would not make it for her sister to get there. The doctors were working on her to try and stabilize her BP. We were sent out of the room. Standing in the hallway, I could feel this energy. I knew she was gone. On the way out of ER, sitting there was a woman who could have been a twin. I asked my son over and showed him. On the way to the airport, Adam (my son) told me he felt this energy while standing in the hallway outside of Althea's room. He felt like the woman sitting in the Waiting Room was there to take Althea home. I did not tell the sister any of this on the ride back to the hospital. The lady in the Waiting Room was gone and Althea was on life support. We all knew she was gone. The next morning I got a call from the sister asking me to take her back to the hospital, that Althea had just passed on. You know how it is, if there is no response from the respirator, it will shut down by its self. This is what happened with Althea. Do you feel like it really could have been an angel sent here to get her? Allison, the sister, told me she felt this strange feeling during the flight to Richmond, and found Althea on the respirator. I told her what I had seen and said it sure sounded like her sister had passed on. -- Patricia K.

PMH Atwater's reply: We can all surmise that indeed the woman in the Waiting Room, who was a twin in appearance to Althea, was sent there to help Althea die. Please know there is no way anyone can be certain of that or prove it in any way. I would, however, like to share what I have found to be true not only in my research of near-death states and transformative states, but in my personal life as well.

That "feeling" that someone is about to die or has died is very real, very physical, and almost always very accurate. I want to emphasize this. Death has a feel to it and a smell, and we sense it (pick it up) right away. Just as animals can pick up such things, so can people. In those few cases where what was sensed was not accurate, those I have investigated involved people who just couldn't or wouldn't believe what they were feeling. They denied those feelings, or talked themselves out of them. If you are open, sensitive, or even a little bit receptive when death is about to come ... YOU WILL KNOW! We pick up those advance signals and we know what they mean. No one has to tell us. We just know. Now, I have seen cases where the individual was truly dying, significant others were picking up the same thing, and then there was a sudden, unexplainable recovery. Who's to say why. Possible answers include: the soul changed its mind and decided to stay, the "near death" event was staged by the soul to make an impression on those concerned or to teach a lesson, or the individual was able to reverse the dying process through will power and to do so was part of his or her growth/development.

We may never know the full import of what is happening or not happening at the time death comes, but we always know it is coming. Even if the individual survives, we still knew it was coming and what we knew was and is right! You can block out death's signal by denying it, being too tired or angry or worried or fearful, but the signal goes out nonetheless.

Was the woman in the Waiting Room an angel? Well, let's not use the term "angel." It has become a catch-all word to describe any type of otherworldly being. I'm not comfortable with that, as, for the most part, these beings are not angels. Heavenly, yes. Angels, no. So, let's just say that there was this strange woman who looked like the woman about to die who was waiting around and then suddenly disappeared around the time Althea died. Since no one saw the woman disappear, we have no idea if there is a link. But we "feel" as if there is - it seems possible therefore it must be what we think. Not so fast!

I can go along with this if we are clear that what we assume to be true is just that - an assumption. I would be much more comfortable about the situation if someone saw her leave or turned his or her head for a moment and then turned back and she was gone. Either way, my attention is perked up, for that is the way real otherworldly beings usually "leave." Since no one can verify this in Althea's case, the question of identity will always be a question. Go with what your heart tells you.

But the idea of otherworldly beings physically manifesting and being seen around the time of death or when there is extreme need, is ABSOLUTELY VALID. Thousands of people have validated this for me over these many years and I have physically seen it for myself - even touched such beings. Sometimes their touch was very real and sometimes it was as if a misty or etheric "wave-through." Let me tell you about one such manifestation.

It was when my husband and I lived in Harrisonburg, Virginia, and I was busy writing my first book, Coming Back to Life. I had walked out the door to get the mail (our boxes were across the street), and noted when I handled the mail that one particular letter was hot and wiggling. As soon as I was back in my kitchen, I hurriedly opened the hot envelope and instead was a letter from a grieving mother, who had lost her son the year before in an accident between his motorcycle and a car. She didn't say, but I knew his name was John. I turned to go into my office and there was John. Real and manifested. And I knew it was John. He had influenced his mother through dreams to write the letter, because he hoped I would consent to allowing him to write a letter to his mother to reassure her he was just fine and to stop all that grieving. I agreed to help him, but told him I first needed to cook my husband's dinner and then do the dishes. He could wait in my office until I had time, and then we would do the letter. He agreed to wait as asked.

When my husband came home, I told him we had a visitor, his name was John, and he was waiting in my office. Terry agreed to meet him, so I led him into my office and had him stand inside of John's body. Terry never saw anything, but he screamed and jumped straight up saying he felt a strange and prickling cold standing there and wanted no part of that. I started laughing and told him that strange prickle was John. Terry never quite got over that. Then, when I finally could go into my office and spend some time with John, my youngest daughter Paulie walked into the front room. She could see, at an angle, into my office and yelled at me, "Hey Mom, who's that man leaning over you?" I yelled back, "Oh, that's John. He died last year in a motorcycle/car accident and he wants me to help him write a letter to his mother to tell her he's okay." I truly wish I had had a video camera at the time, so I could have filmed what happened next. Paulie remained where she was standing in the middle of the living room, muttering to herself things like: "I can see a man leaning over my mother. But he died last year. I can really see a man in there, but he's dead and has been dead for a year. I can see him. He doesn't look like a ghost. He's a man and he's leaning over my mother. But he's dead." Then I heard Paulie say: "Mom, I can't handle this. See you later." She abruptly left. John and I wrote that letter, by the way. His mother replied saying it was as if her son had actually written it - his style, his choice of words, his way of doing things. She was very thankful for the letter.

Now, certainly, my little story is about a disincarnate, true. But the same kind of thing can happen with "visitors" who come to the deathbed, "helpers" who repair your tire when you're stuck out in the woods, "rescuers" who aid you in a hundred different ways when your needs are the greatest - and then disappear, poof, when no longer needed.

The unseen world is very real, is formed of an etheric material substance that can duplicate "matter" on earth or appear misty, and has beings in it that interact with humans on the earth plane and often. The veil between worlds is not as heavy or as solid as you might think. Folks cross back and forth all the time.

Many blessings,
P. M. H. Atwater, L.H.D., Ph.D.

ANNOUNCEMENT: If you are at all interested in near-death cases (or have had one), deathbed visions, transformations of consciousness, and altered states, not to mention the new sciences, please do yourself a favor and see the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know? It's really not a movie, although of movie length. It is a documentary ... about creation and consciousness ... literally a filmed version of my book Future Memory. Parts of it are direct quotes from the book. Since truth is truth, no matter where it comes from or how, I doubt that anyone connected with the movie had ever heard of me or read the book; still, I find it amazing that what plays out on the screen is exactly what I was trying to describe in "Future Memory." Consider this one a "must see." If you don't go to movies, make an exception this time. It is extraordinary!!!!!!!!!!! PMH

ANNOUNCEMENT: Here is an important book for children and teens about death and dying. It has been around for awhile, but I just discussed it: The Kids' Book about Death and Dying, Eric E. Rofes and The Unit at Fayerweather Street School. Boston, MA; Little Brown, 1985.

AMAZON REVIEW: This book was written by a group of 14 children, ages 11 to 14 in Cambridge, MA. These children visited funeral homes, interviewed the elderly, and shared their own personal experiences with death and dying. The book speaks frankly about topics ranging from the cost of funerals to assisted suicide and from burial customs to ideas about life after death. The coverage of the book is comprehensive and will likely answer most questions adolescent readers have about death.


At 5:50 AM, Blogger Boomer Soniat said...

I have a question, but first let me give you a little back history. My younger brother and only sibling (Jamal), myself (Boomer), and our grandmother (Anna) have birthdays that are 4 days apart. Nov 13th, 17th and 21st respectively. The three of us have always shared a strange kind of connection. Like clockwork we would call one another at times which seemed random but always coincided with something bad happening to one of us. Jamal lives is Los Angeles, My grandma and I are in Salt Lake City. Jamal has always been a pretty linear person. He makes a decision and has no problem living with the consequences. I have always been overly analytical. Not so much technical, but more practical. I consider myself a student of human nature and probability. Since I could remember my grandma has always been the cohesive component that held our family together.

Jamal and I are the youngest of her 14 grandchildren, and shared a very close relationship with the matriarch of our family. Three days ago our grandmother passed away. She was the unfortunate victim of Alzheimer's. At the exact moment she passed both Jamal and I felt an extremely strong and sudden void inside our physical bodies. It was as if someone literally ripped our chests off and air started rushing in. Since then neither of us has slept longer than two hours a night or shed a single tear, not even at the loss of the woman that raised us from the time he was 5 and I was 17( after our mother passed away ).

After talking with Jamal tonight a few really strange things started to fall into place. He says that after noticing the empty void feeling in his chest he felt confused and caught off guard. He says he took a single deep breath, told himself everything was OK and like that he was able to deal with the strange feeling of his chest suddenly ripped open. Simultaneously I was stopped mid-sentence and lost myself in thought trying to figure out where the feeling originated from and why. Sherlock Holmes once said that " If you have exhausted all logical possibilities, then the illogical must be the solution." With that said, I'll explain my theory. I am starting to believe that the three of us share/shared a single soul and each of us was/are a representative of a specific aspect of that particular soul. Jamal is the decision maker, I am the logic, and our grandma was the emotion. Since she has passed both of us have become introverts only have conversations that last longer than 5 minutes when we talk to each other. Jamal says that everything he has done lately, even something as mundane as blinking, has been placed on a to-do list in his mind and he visualizes it getting checked off. I, on the other hand, haven't been able to stop thinking. I analyze every single thing I lay eyes on. I visualize every single component of it, disassemble it in my head, reassemble it, then question its function and practicality. It seems like the loss of the emotional portion of our single soul has amplified the areas that are still occupied. Am I dead on with my theory? Am I in the ballpark with it? Or have I completely missed the mark?

At 10:41 PM, Blogger PMH said...

Boomer, your theory about the three of you comprising the same soul in most interesting. In my work, I have recognized that there are indeed soul groups and soul families (reference the book: We Live Forever: The Real Truth About Death). Souls such as these are linked together, and often incarnate together – playing different roles from life to life along the line of whatever objective they set for themselves. We have been told, for instance, that the Kennedy family is an example of group souls, who support each other and work together to accomplish certain goals. The study of group souls and soul families is a fascinating one.

What you are describing here, though, seems more personal and intimate. If you read my book Future Memory, I speak of an incident where I came to discover that my soul, everybody’s soul, consists of unlimited means of manifestation and progression. I discovered that the soul within me was also within a tree, a rock, a dog (but my dog had just died), and two other people whom I had met and who had shared parts of my life with me. In both cases with the other human beings, every time I went to touch them, it was as if my hand passed right through their arm. I was both alarmed and frightened at this, and it felt very strange. I told them both; they, too, had felt something odd whenever we touched. So we quit touching. None of us could deal with it at the time. I did find my tree, a bristlecone pine in the Old Patriarch Forest above Big Pine, CA. The meditation I had snuggled up into what remained of my tree, was one of the most sacred and spiritual meditations I have ever had. I consider myself blest to have had this opportunity. My rock was a boulder inside an extinct volcano outide of Albuquerque, NM. No, I never made it to the boulder, but I could feel it while driving by – as if the two of us were one. Perhaps something like this might be true for you. Pray on it and see what guidance you receive.

Many blessings, PMH

At 9:59 AM, Blogger rocco tebag said...


I had a 28 year relationship with my daughter's father. At one time we both married different people; but we still saw each other. The love was still their and we knew it. We had decided that we couldn't keep hurting are significants other, so we decided not to tell them. However, we still continud to keep seeing each other. Yes I know it was wrong but I have to be honest. One night I had a problem and I met him at work, it was about 11 pm. After we spoke for a 1/2, he walked me out of the building but not before he stopped and told his boss about my acceptance to Harvard. I was embrassed because he was singing my praises, and then I realized that this man REALLY loved me. I decided to go home and tell my husband I could no longer live this sham. I wanted to do sit with my husband and explained that I could no longer stay married. I didn't want to hurt my husband but Iwanted to be back with the man I loved since the age of 19. However, as he was walking me to my car. I had heard a voice in my head that said you will never see him again. The voice was loud and strong. The fear ovewhelmed me. I turned aruond to look at him. He was standing in the doorway with concern on his face becuase of the problem I had discussed with him. I thought because I turned around all will be fine; I was releived. I smiled at him and waved goodbye. During the following months we talked but my sister became ill; need a kidny transplant and I had to take care of her 2 children. Perry and I talked on the phone. Then one day he asked me to meet but I couldn't. The next day my daughter called and said Mom, daddy is sick. I said all will be fine, Daddy never gets sick. Perry was 13 years older than me; 60 years of age. Two days later I was sleeping and felt a gentle soft kiss on my lips; it woke me. I open my eyes and said Perry. I knew he died. A few hours later my daughter called and said I had to get too the hospital. When I arrived I was walked into the hospital room and Perry's wife gave me a hour to be alone with him. I was devasted and afraid to touch him. Then he was taken off the life support. As he was breathing people in the room was telling him it was okay to leave, go with his mommy; she is waiting for you. I began to caress his strong arm and then held his hand. Eventaully something told me to give him permission to leave. I barely said the words; choking back ,my tears I said It's okay Perry you can go, go with mommy, I will be alright. Several minutes later he passed. I have lefted my husband and my greif is still painful; 2 years and I am still not over it. I talk to him on a daily basis, and one time I was doing something and I heard him say "Girl" stop it. It was poweful. I stopped what I was doing. Many of nights I wake up from dreaming of him; the dreams are so real real I have to remind myself he no longer with me. In the beginning as I would lie down and cry hysterically I would stop becuase I could feel his touch, I would get a chill, or a song would come on that was one of his favorite. Yes, I do believe we are warned all we have to be is open. I miss Perry and I will never be right. Grace

At 4:41 PM, Blogger PMH said...

Grace, no one can say for certain why you never married and stayed with the man you loved. We make mistakes sometimes, yet who's to say it was a mistake? Perhaps this strange relationship you had with two men was necessary, necessary for your growth and for theirs. We come here and have the lives that we do for a reason. No accidents about that.

We see this clearly in research of near-death experiences. Once a person dies, you tend to find out all the whys, why Uncle George lost an arm and Great Aunt Tillie miscarried a daughter, why the war, why the conflict, why the mistake, why the horror or joy. There are reasons. Maybe we chose to do what we did. Maybe we just slipped into what happened without a choice, or without what seemed to be a choice. Whatever happened to us or why, the answer is always in the aftereffects. If, afterward, we chose to learn, to grow, to share, to serve, to change - then what happened fulfilled itself. If we wallow in fear or regret or shame or sorrow, then nothing redeems itself and the original problem, whatever it was, continues.

Forgive yourself. Forgive all involved. Three people gave of their love here, and a daughter was born and lives and loves. If you chose to suffer endlessly, you insult the love you once had and you hurt your daughter. Nothing is gained. Take that pain and bless it, love it, be grateful that you once knew such love. There is no room here for regret, only gratitude. Take that energy, the energy of suffering and regret, and turn it around - use it for renewal and helping others. If you and Perry are to be together again, you will - perhaps in another life or on the other side. Nothing that beautiful is ever lost. You can't lose that depth of love. Not possible. His body is not here, but that love is. Redirect it. Take that love and give it to others.

You will be amazed at what will happen when you do.

Many blessings, PMH


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