"I experienced a spontaneous Kundalini Awakening (KA) some years ago. I understand through reading and attendance at International Kundalini Conferences, that KA and NDE have some similarities, re: physical, emotional, spiritual, etc., shifts. While with time there is certainly some adjustments being back here in physical form/physical world, have you experienced or heard from others that they never completely adjust? One aspect of my KA was the experience of unification with Source, The One, All, whatever name one is comfortable with. . . during these experiences all there was, was love: pure, all-encompassing, nothing other than love. These experiences were definitely expanding. This awareness of connection with Source is with me all the time, such a gift, and can bring me to my knees with tears of joy when silent and focusing on this connection. However, this experience also makes it, for lack of better words, painful to be back here on the earthplane, where much is other than love/connection.
"The result is I spend quite a bit of time in solitude, preferring this over much of the outside world that I don't resonate with, and perhaps experience a persistent, low-level depression as I yearn to be back with Source. I do know/understand that we are not to hasten our return to Source, re: if I'm here, I'm meant to be here; yet a big part of me doesn't feel like being here. To find support, kindred souls I've attended various meditation groups, yet found the 'energy healing, etc.' so many have begun to do, unsettling. I've also attended non mainstream churches and had difficulty with the ending of the celebration being holding hands in a circle and singing, followed by everyone embracing/hugging others. I'm energy sensitive and such contact with numerous others can throw my system off. I've tried to excuse myself from these portions of meditation or church gatherings, but then have to encounter individuals approaching me asking questions as to my non-participation, followed by their suggestions, offers to 'heal' my energies, etc. After my KA, my partner left me and friendship ended. This path does seem to be lonely. Any thoughts?"....Mary
There are similarities. Please read my book Near-Death Experiences: The Rest of The Story
. I establish in that book that near-death experiences are not a separate type of anomaly, but, rather, part of the larger genre of transformations of consciousness. Then I go on to show what transformations of consciousness are (and that includes Kundalini breakthroughs), why we have them, what they're for, and where they lead us. Because I reveal the full extent of my research, the book has been challenged, rejected by some who just cannot spread their vision beyond established protocol, to see patterns, relationships, and commonalities.
I've written a lot about aftereffects, really in most of my books. You might enjoy Future Memory
in that regard, for, along with the larger topic of the book, I also share some of what I went through. By the way, I had a full Kundalini breakthrough in the late sixties, two more smaller ones (less intense) that followed, until, once over, I was so different I could no longer "fit" anywhere. Fortunately for me, I was able to become active in the A.R.E. (Edgar Cayce home study groups) and various other esoteric and mystical studies, exercises, classes. These sources of learning and experience made a significant difference in how I was able to integrate those breakthroughs. No, there wasn't any "place" for me to go, so I created that by founding Idaho's first non-profit metaphysical corporation called Inner Forum. Through Inner Form, I established a very active and large group, brought in speakers, had a monthly newsletter, classes, all kinds of activities and groups, all aimed at offering people a safe place where they could come together of a like-mind and explore what was real, not hype or nonsense. Inner Form ran for a total of seven years. I withdrew after six. That's because I died, three times in three months in 1977. I call what happened to me the "heavenly sledge-hammer effect."
If other groups/people/offerings bother you, you may find that you are better suited for ashrams or Quaker Villages or places more attuned to silence, meditation, and flowing more into heart issues. Any given place or people will only bother you if you let them. There's always something to be gained, even if you can stay for only a single class or a certain period of time. You can gain something. Each adds upon itself until you reach a point where life is so much more enjoyable, you are able to be comfortable almost anywhere. Of course it helps to find groups of like-minded individuals - for me that was the International Association for Near-Death Studies (you can go to their activities without having had an NDE). It was also Unity Churches and Science of Mind (Church of Religious Science), and others. There's always people you can flow with, or should I say flow into. I was also gifted by finding my twin soul (or I should say, he found me), and marrying him. That was over 33 years ago. I can honestly say the marriage gets better every year. We met at a Zen meditation meeting. Yes, Zen brought us together. Hey, you never know.
Don't close any doors for yourself. Learn what you can at each place with each individual, and then walk on. You get stronger doing that and life gets easier and more comfortable. You can transfer that longing to "go home" to the joy of touch, sound, sight, feeling, taste. By moving more into who you really are, you automatically meld into the moment and enjoy more. It's you, dear one, and what you determine yourself to be. Remember, you are a Child of God, a co-creator with the Creator, and you have a job to do - otherwise you wouldn't be here.
Many blessings, PMH